Make haste slowly

Sonic Youth – Wish FulfillmentI know I don’t. ;-P

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So Today I finally got some resolve one the BS project I was working on for my Bio class. The whole thing was baby sitting time for me. Most of the people in my group either lack the drive, brain power or something else to get anything accomplished. I am utterly vexed by how they handled the situation. The paper only had to be around four through five pages with a maximum of ten total. With four people in the group this should have been a breeze! But it turned out not to be as they blew it off until the day of at which point I realized I had written the most out of anyone in the group. I had done the outline, the majority of the research, most of the writing, and even most of the speaking during the presentation. If they do it again, then they’re out!

The rest of the day went well as I was able to run into the woman I’m interested in. Thought everything went alright with her today. Found out that she has a few hang ups about some other people she met before me. I have the same problem but I suppose.

My last attraction was a bit more outgoing than me in the beginning which was mostly the reason for me deciding on her. I did like her quite a bit but the long distance thing just didn’t work out. Took a long time to get over her because our relationship ended very abruptly once the semester started and she had started her teaching career. I still compare everyone else to her.

Before that I went on for a real long time of not being able to to decided specifically on anyone.

Going back to when I was 21 and was working at the hospital when the union was starting to get active is the next most memorable. The main branch of the union sent out people to get the union started. One day I was invited to a rally where people were pledging their paychecks to people who had been laid off because of the hospitals bullshit anti-union tactics. Thats when I saw her. Thought I had achieved ecstasy from the moment I saw her and decided that the union was for me. I tried making her cause my cause in an effort to get closer to her. During that time period I did school, work, and union activities to try and get her. In the end I had done my best by going in front of the city council to speak and had lost my job due to union activities, only for the union reps to be pulled out and her to transfered to somewhere else. I kept waiting for her to come back to town but she never did. Even though it didn’t work out like I had hoped thats when I decided intelligent women were for me and would settle for nothing else.

Hell, I was invited to go to the picketing at the hospital this friday around 12ish yet still wonder if she’ll be there. I wish I could go all out after the woman I like right. Life’s complicated and I feel like I have nothing to offer her but myself.

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Time burns on as the light of the world fades…