Make haste slowly

When looking back on how my life came to be how it is, it feels like my life has been well lived to date but has it truly? Would love to think that my time has been spent to the utmost. Hopefully many good long years are left to be lived out for me even though a few friend’s and family member’s lives were ended last year. Those events sparked a synapse in my brain that at first sent me over the edge and into the arms of another to find comfort, but she was the wrong one. I suppose that’s bound to happen to everyone at some point in their lives but it felt so right and next time. I want it to be real instead of someone seeing my circumstances and jumping on the occasion to use me to their advantage. No one wants to feel used and neither do I, ever again. Should think that way though because deep in my gut it feels like there must be someone who wants more than that. Being afraid of that isn’t an excuse to not try again.