Each day is I get more acquainted with life I have the strongest urge to become a vagabond. To live free without setting down. That is the way to live; not like this.
February 29, 2008
February 22, 2008
Aardvark
Most days I get up and wonder, “What’s it going to be today? What sort of odd shit will happen?” because I know only that the variety of things around me keep getting odder and more varied each and ever time I glance upon them. I hardly recognize any of it anymore and to say that I once knew this seems quite humorous. The only thing left to say is that at least it’s interesting and never the same as I watch it radiate away.
February 17, 2008
Rest in peace Grampi.
Over the weekend my grampi, Guesepi Gellomo Calo, died. He had been in a and out of the hospital for various things over the years but this one proved to be the culmination of what was the inevitable. He had been on many antibiotics which had subsequently killed off all of the necessary bacteria that we all require, as well as the bacteria the doctors were trying to marginalize. The bacteria became resistant to the antibiotics and they began to no longer work on the bacteria. In the end it was the medical institutions reliance on antibiotics that killed him.
When I worked at the local hospital. I witnessed the latent effects of antibiotic abuse by medical professionals fact first hand. In that every room, on every floor, there were the signs. Patient after patient. Occupying 75%-90% of each floor in the hospital were people infected with antibiotic resistant infections. What did they think would happen? Maybe they just didn’t care or couldn’t see it coming. Their lack of foresight is a major problem.
We live in a toxic society and my aim is to fix that. I’m dedicating my entire the rest of my life to solving the difficult social issues such as this. Perhaps someday we’ll realize as a society what needs to happen but until then people like my Grampi will have paid the price. Rest now Grampi for nothing can hurt you any longer.
February 16, 2008
flu update.
Well it seems as if I’m mostly over the flu. Other than a bit of a sore throat and some congestion that seems to be all the flu could throw at me. Maybe I’m wrong and it will make a little come back but I don’t think so. Thankfully I don’t feel the need to sleep constantly anymore and my appetite has returned.
February 14, 2008
Oh the flu.
The last couple of days I’ve had a very horrible cough. Natrually because of the good weather I assumed the spores much have been opening. Oh how wrong was I? Very. Turns out to be the flu after I spent 2 hours at prompt care to just be given a prescription for a hefty dose of Ibuprofen. Thank you so much enloe for giving me a prescription for something that everyone clearly has a large jar of. Hopefully I can postpone tomorrows test until I’m not coughing uncontrollably and in general, feeling like shit. Oh well, it should be over in a day or two.
Beware the invisible!
February 13, 2008
Snufflelufagus.
Ignorance was a grand time. Ignorance was a fantastic time. Some days I wish I had never left my warm fluffy cushion of unconsciousness. Unthinking, undoing, and unknowing; such a time of ecstasy I will never return to. My mind snarls with all the things I have absorbed; yet I want more. I crave it and need what it offers. But no, I will not take it. I will stand in defiance of it to reject the hypocrisy of it all.
Sometimes it happens that way. Other times not so much.
February 10, 2008
Never before.
In the history of my life I have never felt a strong desire to leave this place, but no I do and in an exceedingly incomprehensible way. I must leave. I will leave. It’s only a matter of time but how long? I don’t even have the answer to that question but one thing is for certain. I will leave never to return to this town. Life else where might be the same or the perspective of the people might match my own. Time will tell.
Always, ever, and never will be; thats my answer. Discontent is the feature.
Ever in the world has there been no other
Often I sit back and wonder how extraordinary the people around me can be. With my foresight I can see them for what they truly are but with some their emotions cannot be revealed to me. Reading the world like a book is hard but not doing so would bring isolation. Today I realized something that I had wondered for a long while; can there be a living manifestation of perfect? With all of my cognitive ability I’ve tried to pick apart the reality that is around me to answer that one simple idea. Without a doubt I do think that I’ve found someone that could be that embodiment but I both live in awe and fear of this. With one spark of a synapse I could be given infinite pleasure & happiness, or complete devastation for all of eternity.
At least I know. At least I’ve tried. Above all, it was worth it.
February 7, 2008
The oddity that is today.
Today started out like any other this semester and went smoothly as any could but i cannot help but feel like this is what could best be described by deja vu. I feel like I’ve completely and utterly dreamt every detail of today; multiple times. No idea why i get this feeling sometimes but whenever it happens I’m just completely weirded out for a while. Maybe a synapse has broken loose in my head or something; maybe its real.
February 6, 2008
Nihilism
I was hanging out with one of my long time friends after his shift at the olive garden when I realized that out of all the things I care about in the world, none of them really matters on the grand scheme of things. Sure the world would be a better place with them but a necessity? probably not. As I was sitting there watching people do their thing around the bar I discovered that I just don’t really give a fuck. As such, I’ve decided to embrace the ways of the Nihilist because to me life isn’t a mystery. We’re here by some random fluke and it makes no difference what we do or how we act; all the things we force ourselves to do each day are ones that we’ve created for ourselves out of nothing. Why should I follow other people’s random ideas? I’ll just follow my own thanks.