Been a while since I last had a chance to sit here and cobble together whatever it was I was thinking into a coherent thought process — sans distractions and the like that is. Not sure why my writing has slowed up in recent months. Time is currently endless, and unless there is a bus accident in my near future, the skies are clear for the foreseeable future. Maybe it’s the sense that nothing is urgent that allows me forget about writing and thinking. Ever since graduation — some months ago –, my sense of urgency has dropped significantly; yet, perhaps the rigid timeline of getting things done is what stirs my thought processes. I want my synapses to pop again and feel the rush when it all comes together when finishing a research paper. If my mind were a muscle, it would be flabby currently.
I want to keep learning and exploring, but at the same time I want to develop my own hypothesis and publish my own papers; perhaps, something I’m not quite in the arena of yet. So back to school I go to make the synapses spark, dole out the money to some institution of higher learning, and plop my ass down in a seat to zonk out for hours in. At some point in my life my drive to learn on my own unguided, without the need to pay an institution money, will develop I suppose.
Got back from my bike ride and now I apparently have two jobs. Will be quite a lot to do along with school, but I think I’m up for the task. Now I just have to go show the research foundation my SS card because they want to be a pain in the ass… Just been a while since I had a real job other than making some cash on the side — that is, something that will actually send me a W2. Maybe this throat thing will go away and I’ll feel like hanging out with Stephanie or actually doing something other than movies and video games tonight. Off I go!
Been lazing around the house for the last few days or so. Haven’t wanted to go out of my way to do the things I want to do. I stare at the weights on my floor thinking about using them, but haven’t found the motivation to do so yet today. Told myself that I would start a bike ride at two o’clock today, but we’ll see how that works out today. So far the only thing I’ve done is play video games, watch movies, and use the bench press (probably the only non-lazy thing I’ve done besides bike rides). Today might end up becoming a repeat of yesterday, but, hey, eventually I’ll get motivated, right?
Had considered going earlier in the semester, but forgot to register until probably the last minute; however, that didn’t matter because they were short on counselors this year. We had 63 kids this year out of 65 that registered for the diabetic education camp. Took my friends Sarah and Skyler with me this year, who had also signed up to be camp counselors. I was in the 9 and 10 cabins this year, — much like last time I was a counselor –, which were the 11-12 year old boys cabin. The was a week long, and consisted of daily planned events which the campers could take part in; arts, crafts, games, campfire, etc. My kids were hellion bastards, and that’s why they were the most fun — right before they’re teens and they don’t care about what you have to say. We tried the snipe hunt for them, but it turned out they were just a little too old for that, but we still freaked out one or two of them. Next time we’ll scare the younger kids, and possibly enlist the older kids to help us out in making the snipe hunt more fun.
Kind of a nifty thing to have. Lets you sync files between computers. Not perfect, but it having a free 2gb account is why I use it. Anyway, if anyone still reads this blog, this is the link to refer you to it. Basically you get some free storage and I get some additional storage if you sign up using this link. You can setup share folders, so it could be handy for sharing music.
Up late at night, it’s time to get a few things done; but those things have been hiding in the back of my mind burning a hole in the front of my head. It’s the way of the world, they say. Often times they must be wrong because no one needs a hole in their head unless they want it. We all choose our own path in a way, but other want to nudge us in the way they want, for their own benefit; guidance they call it. Guidance is a mental construct, a framework to wrap our lives around until we decided what we want to do. Maybe it’s time to guide my own life. That’s the goal. If it weren’t all about money, it would be much easier to guide your own life. Instead, we’re forced to comply with another’s point of view in order to define our own later. That’s where my life exists: waiting to break free from the baggage of others left in my mind.
